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Friends for Life:
Mal McSwain’s Ministry of Accompaniment
By Bethany Bradsher
Published by Whitecaps Media
Friends for Life is the inspiring story of Mal McSwain and his decades of simple but profound ministry — “a ministry of accompaniment” — in the lives of thousands.
When chatting to a non-Christian high school football player he had just met at the very beginning of his ministry with Young Life, Mal felt the Lord tell him, “You’re going to know that guy for the rest of your life.” That was in 1957 and Mal was 22. Today, 64 years later, the two are still friends and Mal has walked alongside not just Dick Samuels, but many of his California classmates as well.
“Meet people as if you are going to know them for the rest of your life” became a way of life for Mal and his wife Wanda, and a ministry principle Mal taught decades of Young Life volunteer leaders and staff.
Said one former Young Life staff person, “Mal McSwain is the embodiment of Young Life’s relational form of ministry.”
Over the years Mal practiced the simple principle of “being there” for countless people, exhibiting for them the love and grace of Jesus, first with high school students in North Carolina, California, and Georgia, and later with adults around the country.
If you have an interest in Young Life, you will love this book, as it gets to the very essence of what has made that ministry special to so many. And if you have a desire to impact lives for Christ, you’ll find Mal’s example a powerful one to emulate.
Written with the full cooperation of the McSwains, noted author Bethany Bradsher brings to bear not only her gifted storytelling but also her long history with Young Life as a student, volunteer leader, and staff wife.
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Friends for Life Table of Contents
Introduction: Sheer Encouragement
1. Friends for Life
2. A Foundation in Christ
3. A Partner in Prayer
4. An Expanding Vision
5. Just Showing Up
6. A Vehicle for Building Relationships
7. Every Kid
8. Meeting Kids on Their Turf
9. Praying for Them by Name
10. Walk in Wisdom
11. Staying Sharp
12. Follow Me as I Follow Christ
13. Evangelism and Discipleship
14. Useless Presence
15. Building Trust
16. Leave It Up to the Holy Spirit
17. Never Let Go
18. Lifelong Learning
19. No Lone Rangers in Ministry
20. The Gospel is Better Caught than Taught
21. Connecting People and Cultivating Community
22. Sharing Sorrow
23. Through the Valley
24. Modeling Marriage
25. Legacy
26. Celebrate
“I remember the day Mal and Wanda said “we’ve thought of a title for the book…Friends for Life. We like the way ‘life’ can mean relationships for life, Young Life, and eternal life.’”
—From the Introduction
This is Mal’s first prayer list when starting the Myers Park club while a student at Davidson in 1956 — little did Zach Thomas know that he and Mal would be featured in Friends for Life 65 years later!
Organized around Mal's ministry principles, Friends for Life is filled with anecdotes and adventures as told by Mal, Wanda, and many others.
This panoramic shot by Mike Mauney (Charlotte Observer photographer and one of Mal's Shelby HS friends) was taken at All-City Club after Mal started the South HS club in 1964.
Mal speaks with Garinger baseball player Jim Easterling.
Mal at Garinger track practice (the track coach, Buster Ledford, was a close friend of Mal's from Shelby HS).
After his freshman year at Alabama, Neb Hayden returned to help as a Western Tour counselor in 1967, pictured here on the Frontier infield with co-counselors Barry St. Clair (left of Neb) and Pete Moore (top left), teammate of Neb’s at Alabama.
Mal with three consecutive Myers Park All-American QB’s: Jeff Beaver, Neb Hayden, and Rick Arrington.
Mal with Jerry Leachman (L), Neb, and others at the Windy Gap Adult Weekend.
Mal and Neb in Durham 2019.
Mal introduced long-time friend Steady Cash (right) to Young Life in the early 60s after mixing it up with him on the Charlotte YMCA basketball court. Also pictured, from left, are Rod Huckaby and Jennings Snider (a long-time member of Mal’s Core Group).
In 2004 Mal's son Jeff McSwain was a leader in the club attended by Alex Wilcox (pictured here) and her future husband Jay Whitaker in Durham. Alex later (2017) became a leader in Charlotte at Myers Park High School. In a full-circle scenario, here Mal shows her pictures of the first Myers Park clubs!
Mal’s Mentors:
•Samuel Yates McSwain. When it comes to mentors for Mal, we have to start with his dad, Yates McSwain. Yate’s grocery store
anchored Shelby’s downtown business district, across the street from the Cleveland County courthouse. As Shelby
Councilman for years, Yates was known for his wisdom, honesty, and generosity. Yates gave Mal his financial conviction of
being debt free, a sense for saving, and a love for giving.
•Harlan Harris joined the staff as an Associate Minister at Shelby First Baptist Church after spending time under the influence
of Jim Rayburn at Wheaton College. Photos appear to indicate that Harris took Shelby kids to Star Ranch as early as 1947, but
at least by 1948 Harris had started “Young Life” in Shelby, making it (along with perhaps Knoxville, TN), the first Young Life town
east of the Mississippi River. Harris was a natural leader with a warm personality and an energy for gathering people together
to hear about Jesus.
Harlan Harris (tallest back left) with Shelby kids at Star Ranch 1947 or 48.
Mal and Wanda with Harlan and Madeline Harris in the 80's.
•Jim Rayburn, the founder of Young Life, took a special liking to Mal as a teenager (as the below letter indicates), and Mal
watched his every move, following Jim as Jim followed Christ. Jim was in the habit of giving Mal books, most notably The Diary
of Private Prayer and Hudson Taylor’s Spiritual Secret, both still in Mal’s possession. Mal absorbed Jim’s love for adventure and
the mountains. He marveled at how the scriptures came alive as Jim narrated Jesus’ encounters in the gospels. As told in
Friends for Life, of all Jim’s godly attributes, it was perhaps Jim’s prayer life that made the most indelible mark on Mal.
Jim Rayburn in action as a gifted communicator of the gospel.
Letter from Rayburn to Mal 1964
•Andrew “Goldbrick” Delaney. Coming from the deeply segregated South, Mal had never been under the authority of a Black
man, and he had never met any man with such a combination of Christ-commanding power, love, and playfulness. Goldbrick
taught Mal about the sanctity of work, the importance of team unity at work and at play (the Frontier volleyball court), the
demand for excellence, and selflessness, insisting the campers be served before any work crew person had a bite to eat. In
the kitchen Andrew and his wife Jerry modeled a marriage partnership that anyone who worked beside them sought to
emulate.
Goldbrick driving into Frontier 1980's.
Mal and Wanda with Andrew and Jerry Delaney.
•Tom Raley. Tom was Mal’s work crew boss after his junior year (at Star Ranch) and senior year (at Frontier Ranch). A Navy
veteran, Tom was a man of discipline and a master of time-management. The tough love he displayed to those under his
charge was most impactful because it was so obviously drawn from the deep well of his relationship with Christ. Tom taught
his crew and other mentees to foster this most important of all relationships through the discipline of daily quiet times.
Mal with Tom Raley (center) and Chuck Reinhold
Mal and Wanda with Tom and Recie Raley and Fil and Lucie Anderson.
•Marge Stone Peterson was an early staff person who ran the Summer Staff at Frontier Ranch and, during the school year,
spearheaded the Wheaton College women’s discipleship group which generated so many Young Life staff women (like
Wanda Jean Farley). As a Summer Staff boss, Marge supervised Mal for six consecutive summers at Frontier, and was
affectionately known as Marge ”Manners” Stone. Mal recognized how she allowed plenty of latitude on the playful side, but
Marge also knew how to “draw the line” in a way that everyone respected.
•Digger Langford. During those formative years of the late 50’s-early 60’s, Digger was often the Frontier Camp Director and
one of the speakers (in those days there were two clubs each day). Mal spent every college summer at Frontier, and one year
Digger invited Mal to rise forty-five minutes early every morning to meet with him to study the pastoral epistles, a rich process
which spanned over two summers. Digger’s love for Scripture inspired Mal. Mal’s and Bob Reeverts’ desire to attend Fuller
Theological Seminary was largely based on Digger being the Southern California Regional Director.
•George Sheffer was another example of discipline and tough love in Mal’s life. And George’s tender side was profound. Mal
saw in George a fierce compassion for marginalized people that Mal had not before witnessed. George essentially sparked
Young Life’s “urban” outreach movement, pushing Rayburn to adjust efforts into more diverse regions. People were surprised
when George made the decision to move his family away from the relatively wealthy suburbs of Dallas into the south side of
Chicago. George asked Mal to join him in starting the urban camp initiative at Star Ranch in the early sixties, where Mal was
the program director for the first five years (1962-1967). George constantly sought to give over leadership to people of color,
and the Star Ranch times produced future YL staff members like Bo Nixon and Clark Jones.
Mal on far left, George Sheffer far right (kneeling), Bill Milliken (center front sitting) at Star Ranch 1963.
Mal on upper left, with George kneeling underneath, at Star 1965.
George and Marty Sheffer far right, and to George's right (kneeling) are other urban pioneers Vinnie Pascuale (dark rimmed glasses), Bo Nixon, and Harv Ostydyk.
•Mal had many Young Life Committee members as mentors over the years. In Charlotte George Harris (with Duke Power) and
his wife Bertha gave Mal and Wanda loads of family support, community credibility (especially with churches skeptical of
‘para-church” ministry), and connection. The Harris’ daughter was in Mal’s first Myers Park club in 1956-57 when he was a
Davidson senior. Sixty years later, and unbeknownst to Mal and Wanda, the same former Marie Harris was living at Croasdaile
Retirement Village in Durham. What a pleasant surprise waiting for the McSwains when they arrived at Croasdaile in 2017!
•Another critical Committee mentor was Hal Gatewood, a highly-respected Atlanta businessman who met regularly with Mal
and taught him the ropes in Mal’s new town. Not only did Hal exhibit deep faith in the Lord and deep confidence in his younger
protege, Hal was the one who first recognized the uniqueness of Mal’s “alumni network” and encouraged Mal to recalibrate his
approach. Instead of reporting to the regular local Young Life Committee, Hal helped Mal to transition to a separate support
team from Mal’s vast relational web, and into a position called Young Life “Minister at Large.” Many in this “Core Group” were
former club kids of Mal’s, and while anchored in Atlanta, the Core included friends from throughout the Southeast. Hal’s tragic,
sudden, death in 1982 was a huge blow to the 46 year-old Mal.
The first Atlanta Young Life Committee: Hal Gatewood is seated far right (glasses).
Neb Hayden and Mike "The Pearl" Cromartie at Yosemite on the first Atlanta Western Tour 1968.
The Pearl living large at Frontier's 89er night.
Later on the Tour as a counselor (Grand Canyon).
And in the 80's with Mal, Reid Carpenter (center), and Charlie Scott.
1970 Tour. Mal noticed how many guys were wearing the same Izod shirt and pulled them off the bus for this “serious look” picture: (Top R) Norm Hughes, Jack Head, Mal, (Bottom) Jeff Scott, Bobby Day, Jim Hovis.
Chip Milner, Jeff Scott, Jack Head, and Danny Hankey at Windy Gap with Phillips Bibles preparing to go on Tour as Jr. Counselors.
The “wild bunch” in more recent years, Jeff Scott, Chip Milner, Mal, Mark Moody, and Norm Hughes.
Mal with some of his Dykes High School club "alums".
Mal with Bill and Kitti Murray. Bill has continued “showing up” through his work with men in Atlanta, while Kitti has put her relational skills to work in founding the non-profit Refuge Coffee Inc.
"R" Neal with Mike Cromartie join others at a Windy Gap leadership weekend.
Dykes student Dick Steed getting comfortable at Frontier Ranch.
Mal's transition to Young Life Minister at Large, envisioned by the late Hal Gatewood, marked the formation of Mal's original Atlanta Core Group: Back (L to R) David Harper, Bill Cheney, Mal, Chip Milner (front) Tom Roddy, Greg Simmons (chairman), Jim Topple, Carl Ohly.
Mal with Core 80's.
Mal's Core guys helping with a McSwain moving day: Billy Saville, Tom Tolleson, John Barnett, and Dave Harper.
Mal with the last Atlanta Core Chairman Dick Steed (left) and high school classmate and Core member Ted Benning.
Mal with Dykes club alums Dick Steed, Buzz Mayo, and Joe Wilson.
Mal with Ted and Janet Benning, Christie Simmons, and Dennis Pete.
Core Group Guys 90's: Russell Berry, Tom Tolleson, Don Sharp, Bud Mattingly, Ted Benning, Dick Steed, Woody Johnson, Jim Topple, Bill Cheney (seated) Bill Burt, Mal, Carl Ohly.
Core Group Guys 2000's: Dick Steed, Ted Benning, Bill Burt, Don Sharp, Carl Ohly, Mal, Russell Berry (front) Tom Roddy, Tom Tolleson, Billy Saville, Bud Mattingly, Woody Johnson, Jim Topple.
Mal played regularly in former Dyke's club alum Bryant Wright's golf tournament "Right from the Heart" with other Dykes alums. Here with Bryant, Greg Baldwin, and Tom Tolleson.
Mal with Greg Baldwin, Bryant Wright, Buzz White, and Joe Wilson.
Greg Baldwin (left) on High Country Day at Frontier early 70's.
Mal with his ever present camera captures Bryant Wright and the Dykes tennis team early 70's
Avondale's Chip Davidson (and most recently a member of Mal's "Pub Group") in Mexico on the Tour, early 70s.
Mal leading Avondale Club late 70's. Joy Reeves blue shirt back center.
Mal with Joy Reeves at Mal's roast in early 90s.
Mal with Tom Roddy, Dennis Pete, Neil Shorthouse, and Clark Jones.
Mal with Avondale alums Laird Bridgman, Barney Cochran, Kyle Rodgers (NSHS), Jeff McSwain, Kenny Cook, and Don Palmer
Mal with Chris Hoffman, Barney Cochran, Kenny Cook, Don Palmer.
Holly Calhoun Leachman from Lovett on the Tour
Jerry Leachman at Leadership in Mal and Wanda's Avondale living room.
Mal and Wanda visit in Durham with Atlanta Core couples Dave and Anne Harper, Bud and Linda Mattingly, and Billy and Michelle Saville 2019.
Randy and Susie Eberhard (Atlanta) with Mal and Wanda in Durham 2019.
As "fate" would have it, for the first time since the Star Ranch Urban Reunion in 1985, Mal and Caesar Ramos were together, this time at Duke Hospital where they were both being treated for cancer in 2016.
Staff Friends:
Mal and Wanda with other Young Life Ministers at Large Tom and Recie Raley and Charlie and Mary Scott
Mal was known by Rayburn and others at Frontier as part of the "Tennessee Gang," pictured here over the decades with close friends Charlie Scott, Bob Reeverts, and Don Reeverts.
Charlie Scott, Mal, and Bill Milliken clowning at staff conference.
Gatlinburg Father-Son Appalachian Trail Trip: Jim and James Hornsby, Mal and Jeff McSwain, Charlie and Chuck Scott, George and Mark Norris, Bob and Tim Mitchell
Gatlinburg men on the trail.
Mal and Bo Nixon in the 80s. Bo still directs Young Life or “New Life” in New York City.
Mal and Charlie in the early days at Windy Gap.
Mal with Jabo Cox, Fred Langston, and Charlie Scott early 70's Windy Gap.
Mal with Dave Brinsfield and Dale Moody at Windy Gap.
Mal with Skip Ecke and Jerry Blacklaw at the Windy Gap Hoedown.
Mal with former club kids and here (for a time) Young Life staffers Johnny Wilson and Neb Hayden.
Mal joins Millikens, Shorthouses, and others at Koinonia Farms in the 70s.
Mal and Wanda with Norris, Scotts, and Millikens.
Mal with Johnny Wilson, Judy McMillan and Dave Fry.
Wanda with Bruce Fisher at Windy Gap.
Wanda with Skeeter and Cathy Powell.
Mal with Dave Brinsfield at Frontier on the Tour.
Examples of Mal's "prayer walls" in his office.
Solitude in Sausalito on the Tour at San Francisco Bay.
Mal reflecting 70's style.
Mal at the Eagle's Nest, Frontier 1980s.
Mal sitting on Chimney Rock.
Mal and Wanda:
Mal and Wanda often returned to the Broadmoor Hotel where they had their first kiss on a trip over from nearby Young Life Institute in the summer of 1957.
At Deer Valley.
In Mal's hometown of Shelby in the 60's, just an hour from Charlotte.
Moving into the 70's, the hair and fashions were changing.
Mal and Wanda moved to Norcross in the 80s.
Their back porch in Norcross with Wanda's garden was a daily refuge.
With Mal and Wanda ever-functioning as a tight team, two heads are better than one!
Mal loved teaching at New Staff, here in front of the Frontier Mantee in the early 2000's.
Mal and Wanda in the "Rayburn Chair" at Frontier's storied Lookout Lodge hearth.
Mal and Wanda at Frontier 89 night through the years.
Mal and Wanda at Mal's Roast in Atlanta.
Dancing through life together.
A relationship full of affection.
Wanda and her B.S. (Bible Study!) Babes.
Wanda with her "Birthday Club" of Nella Gatewood, Christy Simmons, and Alexandra Roddy.
. Mal looking up to the mountains above Frontier late 50s.
Mal at Frontier with early friends.
Mal on Frontier infield 1950s.
Mal on Frontier infield 1960s.
Mal puts up a jumper on the Frontier basketball court in the 50's.
Mal's patented hook shot on the same court with Chimney Rock towering in the background 1980's.
Mal spent almost 40 straight summers at Frontier Ranch in some capacity.
This was the view of Chimney Rock- to the right of the Silver Cliffs and now so small compared to the peak of Mount Princeton- that Mal and his friend Mike Mauney (pictured here) admired when they drove this truck from Shelby to Frontier in the mid 50s.
From the pool (Mal facing away in white trunks) Chimney Rock seems so tall.
From Mount Princeton above, the perspective changes and the cathedral of God's majesty is even more apparent. From this sacred place called Frontier Ranch, and as an ambassador of Christ wherever he has gone, Mal has been a link in the Lord's chain, leading others to Christ: "I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth" (Ps 121:1-2).